Fidelity in Marriage

(https://mylutheranroots.com/2014/01/03/fidelity-in-marriage/)

One of my friends lived in the same apartment complex as my husband and I, and she had asked me to bring her some sugar. I was making dinner and had asked my husband to go give it to her. My husband told me that when he got there she opened the door and noticed it was just him, was almost awkward and just told him, that she would let him in, but her husband wasn't home. She thanked him for the sugar and came back to tell me his experience. He told me that he didn't even think about setting boundaries or rules within our marriage, and that we hadn't talked about rules we would set for ourselves when it came to our behaviors towards friends of the opposite gender, as well as how we will respond and what our boundaries are.  We talked all night about what we would be comfortable with and what we wouldn't. We left that conversation with more knowledge about how to combat Satan ways of infidelity. I love my husband so much, that I am not even able to express with words but with my heart. Satan makes us believe that the innocence of something that may be going toward something bad, is okay to do.  President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) said, “What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion.” 1

In the talk Fidelity in Marriage: It's more than you think by Kenneth W. Matheson goes through and talks about how we may think that infidelity is solely physical, and we forget to mention that it stems from an emotional point.  Emotional infidelity means emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter peace of mind. I believe that this form of infidelity is the scariest because " it doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing." and we need to be careful about it.

Questions to consider and to reflect on, that we should be asking ourselves constantly are: 

• “Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?”
• “Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re at home?”
• “Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together?”
• “Do you e-mail and text your friend when you’re not together?”
• “Have you told your spouse about these messages?”
• “Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?”
• “Do you compare your spouse to your friend?”
• “Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?”

"Depending on how you answer these questions, you may need to make some changes in your life. Consider an open and honest conversation with your spouse—being sure to focus on yourself and not the other person. If you find you have some real challenges to overcome, you may want to talk with your bishop."

My friend with that simple gesture really helped my husband and I understand the importance of being loyal to our spouse and how we are able to show it, and to keep it. I want to end this by using the words of President Spencer W. Kimball, 

The Lord says in no uncertain terms: “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). And, when the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. And, to the woman it is paraphrased: “Thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shalt cleave unto him and none else.”The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.

Resource:

Fidelity in Marriage: Its more than you think By Kenneth W. Mattheson 

Doctrine and Covenants 42:22 

Be Faithful Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle (1972), 142–43