Magic Six

In the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman mentions the Magic Six Hours, which he believes that it will spontaneously fix and improve our relationships they are:

1. parting: before saying goodbyes in the morning, find out one thing which is happening in the partner’s life that day;
2. reunions: stress-reducing conversations at the end of each workday
3. admiration and appreciation: find some way every day to communicate genuine affection and appreciation towards your spouse
4. affection: kiss, hold, grab and touch each other when together
5. weekly date: could be a relaxing low-pressure way to stay connected. Ask each other questions [to update your love-maps] and turn towards each other. Talking out a marital issue or working through an argument can also be placed here.
6. State of the Union Meeting. This is where for one hour a week you talk about your relationship. He recommends starting with what went right and give each other five appreciations. Then he suggests that you discuss any issues that have come up using a soft start-up, moving on to problem solving using the two-circle method. 

As I was reflecting the concepts  in my own life, I came to a realization that it really enriched my marriage and we were able to better communicate. Looking first glance at these six concepts we can see that they aren’t major things like going out and buying your husband a brand new car to show him you care about him, or buying that expensive necklace that your wife would have loved, it's much more deep and everlasting. It is a way of life, living with a spouse, another human being who has needs to be met and needs love in their life. These simple 6 ways will help build stone after stone a strong foundation.

Something I first noticed about my husband was when we were dating he always wanted to go on dates, and he carried that into our marriage, so we both know that Saturdays are our date days, and this has been a blessing in our marriage as we get to talk about our week, spend time together, have fun, laugh, and build that strong foundation week by week, it is a precious time for both of us and we both enjoy it very much.

“Spending real face-to-face time with other people is necessary to build true friendships” can go along perfectly with these 6 concepts because they all involve some sort of communication between both partners.

My challenge to you is to try this out and see if it brings a far deeper desire to not only show your spouse more love but also build your relationship with them, I know it has for me.

Resources:

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: a practical guide from the countrys foremost relationship expert. New York: Harmony Books.

What About Dating? By Larry M. Gibson December 2012